![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
i want to be
Mar. 1st, 2007
Feb. 19th, 2007
06:23 pm
i hate that my last couple of entries have included him. but really i want nothing more than to just get over it. ya i know it takes time blah blah blah. this isn't the hardest thing i've ever done. being with him is harder than getting over him. so really i'm thankful, but come on...this blows. we all know what break ups are like. it's not like i'm not moving on and not doing anything with my life. but i still think about him, a lot. and i know i could never go back to him. i know i'm not missing out on much and that one day i'll wake up to a completely different thought. one that doesn't involve him. i'm either missing him or hating him. but he's still on my mind. i don't want him around, i don't want him back, he can't be in my life, i just want to stop thinking about him. i want to stop being reminded constantly about him. i'm not sad, hurt, lonely, or mad (for the most part)..i'm just consumed with the reoccuring thoughts of him. i know it will pass, i know i'll be fine, i know i know...i hate this feeling. i hated it because of chris and now i hate it because of jon. all i know is that looking back to the momentary happiness does not overcompensate for this feeling. maybe i'll think otherwise later down the road. but in this moment, i wish things had gone differently. and.
Jan. 30th, 2007
Jan. 29th, 2007
04:10 pm
i just so happen to have gotten the worst of the batch. overreacting you'd say? ...definitely not. i am just so thankful for having the friends that i have. and now...i have the opportunity of going back to what i thought was done and over with. promises are being made and such but really...a 5th time? you would think that it'd be blatantly obvious that i would steer clear of that. so why am i giving it a second thought? after all of that healing time that i spent, and having to come to terms with myself, WHY am i even considering it?? why do i hold even an ounce of sympathy for him? why do i convince myself to believe that things WILL be different this time? when, for the past year things have never changed. i've made this mistake before, it is NO longer my problem. someone else can deal with him and all the bullshit he comes with. am i bitter? yes. extremely. what makes you think that all that time spent crying, healing, killing my friends with the endless banter, that i'm going to disregard all of the pain just because NOW you're ready to do this right? and WHY can't i say ANY of this to him??
Dec. 31st, 2006
10:30 am
break ups are painful no matter how over it you think you are.
i'm ready for the new year. i'd like to get back in touch with some old friends. so tara, if you're reading this, this means you too!
so i'm taking a winter class and it starts on weds. i'm excited. last year it went well. i hope i can say the same about this year.
my grandma is in the hospital. so my mom went to the philippines for a month. she left 2 weeks ago and i'm NOT looking forward to her return. is that sad?
does anyone know of anybody who's looking for a roommate? i'm looking to move out and i don't think i can do it alone considering how expensive places are these days.
welp...time to get ready for work. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Nov. 9th, 2006
02:50 pm - bi-yearly update
so pretty much i left LMU. i have 2 months to do something productive until school starts up again. 6 months ago i had no time to sit back for more than 2 minutes. now all i have is time. when i'm busy i wish that i wasn't, when i'm not i wish that i was.
i really don't have much to say other than my life is pretty steady right now. i'm really content with what i have. or i should say who i have. everyone says it but really, my friends have been nothing but the best. i had a lot of decision making to do these past couple months and without their influence, i probably would have made some bad choices.
"some guy" who i thought was completely out of my life this summer ended up making a complete 180 and turned into a great boyfriend. i haven't had one in 3 years. he is amazing.
i've been watching grey's anatomy and lost....i never thought i'd be hooked on these shows!
so tonight jon and i are going to see saw III. i'm excited. is it any good though?
good news... i renewed my disneyland pass!! bad news... i think i lost it :-(
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/faces-animated/29.gif){kind=small}
contentJun. 5th, 2006
10:52 am - it's over
but for the better. it's amazing when you can really understand the importance of learning from every relationship. i know exactly how much to give away next time. letting my guard down too soon, opening up when i shouldn't have, believing that it may develop into something real...meh yeah it's a bummer to think that all that effort went no where but i'm glad it happened. i'm glad i made those mistakes. i'm not the type to go into depressed mode and think of myself as worthless and throw out the "but what's wrong with me" line. i know that when someone genuine comes alone, someone worth doing all those things for again, all of my effort will be appreciated. but until then, i don't plan on dwelling on this. everyone is brought into your life for a reason, whether they have an effect on your life or not is up to you. what i've learned from this is that not everyone has my best interest at heart, not all intentions are good, the "great" guy may just be trying to have me fooled, and yes...some people DO lie. but i've also learned my limits and when i start to see that this great "thing" (whatever it is) is bringing out the worst in me, it's time to draw the line (literally).
"a sense of self means knowing what you have to offer and not offering it too quickly" i forget where i read that but i thought it applied to this.
now that i have this all figured out...it's summer! let's all play!
Dec. 27th, 2005
10:00 pm - long time no see
well well well.. i haven't been here in a while. it's good to be back. christmas was alright. it didn't feel like christmas really. it hasn't for the past couple of years. oh well..can't wait for the new year!
life has been pretty good. i really have no complaints. well i take that back, there's just one minor detail that's hindering my complete happiness: my family. what's worse? not having a family or having a family who puts you in the middle of their arguments and haven't spoken in months? it's a toss up. but let me tell ya, being in the middle isn't all that fun. but it hasn't stopped me before so there's no reason for it to stop me now. yeya
dance has been going real strong in my life as of late and i'm really really excited about it. i can't wait to spend my life doing what i love to do the most and actually get paid for it. it's going to be great.
so i found out today that my favorite persian restaurant, Ali Baba, is going out of business. it's been around for 31 years, what the heck am i going to do without it??? Persian food is my absolute favorite type of food, and for the past 13 years, Ali Baba has provided me with the utmost authentic and delicious food ever! so here's a toast to Ali Baba!
next week i start my winter session math class..monday-saturday from 9-250.....ugh! what WAS i thinking??? and tomorrow i have my first session with my personal trainer, yipee!
still trying to decide on my new years resolution...i've never really had one. in 5th grade my new years resolution was to start writing the number 4 a certain way and i stuck to it! props to me!
so what's everyone taking next semester?? fill me in!
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/faces-animated/6.gif){kind=small}
chipperNov. 17th, 2004
10:45 pm
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Sabrina Atwal
Birth date: sept 17 1987
Birth place: la
Current Location: placentia
Hair Color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: indian, filipino
Shoes you wore today: rainbows and jazz shoes
Your weakness: Eric
Your fears: going to hell
Your perfect pizza: n/a
Goal you'd like to achieve: getting married and having a big family
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase: i know right! (from mean girls)
Your thoughts first waking up: i hafta pee
Your best physical feature: n/a
Your bedtime: 10-12
Your most missed memory: being a kid
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: n/a
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds
Single or group dates: group dates
Adidas or Nike: adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: n/a
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: coffee
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: no
Cuss: occasionally
Single: do i single? am i single? yes
Take a shower: yes
Have a crush(es): hmmm
Think you've been in love: yes
Want to get married: yes
Believe in yourself: most of the time
Get motion sickness: not really
Think you're attractive: on a good day
Think you're a health freak: i've just recently started watching my weight..i kinda like it
Get along with your parents: yes
Like thunderstorms: yes
Play an instrument: no
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: no
Gone on a date: no
Gone to the mall: yes
been on stage: no
eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
Eaten sushi: no
Been dumped: no
Gone skating: no,
Gone skinny dipping: no
Stolen anything: no
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: no
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
Been caught "doing something": no
Been called a tease: ya
Gotten beaten up: no
LAYER EIGHT GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: either 23 or 30
Number of Children: 4 or 5
Describe your dream wedding: it would take up to much space
How do you want to die: painless, sleeping in a hammock
What do you want to be when you grow up: realistically a politician
What country would you most like to visit: greece (tara lets go!)
LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color?: blue
Best hair color?: light brown
Short or long hair: a little long
Height: 6'
Best first date location: doesn't matter as long as we're having fun
first kiss location: doesnt matter as long as its perfect timing, ya im a hopeless romantic
LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I could trust with my life: right now...2
Number of CD's I own: a lot
Number of piercings: 3
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper?: 0
Number of scars on my body: 5 or 6
Sep. 27th, 2004
11:05 pm
so today some guy came into my work asking to talk to a manager regarding an application. while he was waiting for my manager to come up, he straight up asked me.. "so do you know that Jesus Christ is our Lord and savior?" and i said "yes" we talked about our churches and then my manager walked up. the man asked about being a server and my manager said we werent hiring...when the man walked off he turned to me and said "it was nice talking to you, God bless" i asked my manager what was wrong with the man and he said "he's weird" his only reason for not listening to this man speak was because he was weird...? he had heard our conversation prior to that and because he openly talkes about Jesus, this man is weird??? i dont understand... this world is twisted.. what's right is considered different and not normal nowadays... later on i told my manager how i felt about that and he said he felt bad and might hire him as a busser...but thats not my point.. i just dont get it anymore..i've now stopped trying to understand the ways of this world.
on another note...i'm tired. i need sleep. school is very draining but i love it. i've grown so close to my friends. i'm so thankful for them. lately i've been hanging out with taylor and jeff. its pretty cool. i dont feel like the outsider. and i can talk to them both openly about anything. me and telly are going to hang out a lot more, like we did last year and im excited for that because its been too long since we've hung out regularly. but ya i think this week should be pretty easy. i've been working a lot and i have some new victims... nothing too exciting though. i've been wanting to watch serendipity but everywhere i go seems to be out of copies.. oh well. chris said he'd watch it with me...weeee well i'm off to bed now. hope everyone has a great day tomorrow
Navigate: (Previous 10 Entries)